Harry Potter and the Very Scary Musical
by darlawuzx
Summary: Be afraid, be very afraid. This is just a stress reliever because I have writer's block on another story. I wrote the chapters scatteredly so it might not make sense. Enjoy! PG13 for future chapters...
1. Suerte

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!!! Just thought I'd let you know. JK Rowling thought up the Harry Potter Verse a long long time ago.  
  
Author's Note: I decided to do a musical. I just ate ice cream so I'm gonna do a musical! Muahahahahaha. Enjoy.  
  
Chapter One: Hermione's House-Suerte/Whenever, Wherever  
  
Hermione was laying on her bed listening to Shakira's CD. She had listened to it so much that she knew every single word, even though some of the songs were in Spanish. She began thinking about Harry Potter, one of her best friends. Oh how he wanted to be with him so bad; but he was so far away! She was thinking about him so much that she didn't notice the green smoke coming from her closest.   
  
Suddenly she grabbed her hairbrush, which instantly turned into a microphone, and began to dance and sing around her bedroom. Lights came out of no where and he bed turned into a stage. By the time Hermione had jumped on stage, she was dressed in dirty leather pants and a little skimpy top. Her hair was suddenly very curly and long...  
  
"Suerte que en el sur hayas nacido  
  
y que burlemos las distancias,  
  
suerte que es haberte conocido  
  
y por ti amar tierras extrañas  
  
yo puedo escalar los Andes  
  
solo por ir a contar tus lunares,  
  
contigo celebro y sufro todo  
  
y mis alegrias y mis males  
  
le ro lo le lo le  
  
le ro lo le lo le  
  
sabes que...  
  
estoy a tus pies!!  
  
Contigo mi vida  
  
quiero vivir la vida  
  
lo que me queda de vida  
  
quiero vivir contigo  
  
Contigo mi vida  
  
quiero vivir la vida  
  
lo que me queda de vida  
  
quiero vivir contigo..."  
  
She broke into a belly dance and sung the rest of the song in English.  
  
"Lucky that my lips not only mumble  
  
They spill kisses like a fountain  
  
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble  
  
So you don't confuse them with mountains  
  
Lucky I have strong legs like my mother  
  
To run for cover when I need it  
  
And these two eyes are for no other  
  
The day you leave will cry a river  
  
Le do le le le le, Le do le le le le  
  
At your feet  
  
I'm at your feet!  
  
Whenever, Wherever  
  
We're meant to be together  
  
I'll be there and you'll be near  
  
And that's the deal my dear  
  
They're over, you're under  
  
You'll never have to wonder  
  
We can always play by ear  
  
But that's the deal my dear..."  
  
She crawled in the stage, which magically was now a mud puddle, and belly danced some more in the mud.  
  
"Le do le le le le, Le do le le le le  
  
Think out loud  
  
Say it again...  
  
Le do lo le le le  
  
Tell me one more time  
  
That you'll live  
  
Lost in my eyes!"  
  
She then got up out of the mud puddle and began to dance between the horses that had appeared in her room.  
  
"Whenever, wherever  
  
We're meant to be together  
  
I'll be there and you'll be near  
  
And that's the deal my dear  
  
Thereover, hereunder  
  
You've got me head over heals  
  
There's nothing left to fear  
  
If you really feel the way I feel..."  
  
And at the end of the song fireworks shot in the air, scaring off the horses, and Hermione jumped off the stage and...  
  
"HERMIONE!"  
  
...onto her bed, which returned just in time so she didn't hit the floor.  
  
"What?!!" Hermione yelled at her door to her mother.  
  
"Keep it down!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Am I hyper or what? 


	2. Disco Draco

Disclaimer: The usual.  
  
Author's Note: Somebodaaay shoot maaay!  
  
Chapter Two: Disco Draco  
  
Hermione met her friends, Ron, Harry, and Ginny, at the train station. After their trunks were loaded up, the proceeded to the back of the train and into an empty compartment, as always.   
  
"So..." Hermione began, "Did anybody...yesterday...sorta...burst into song?" she asked.  
  
"You too!" Harry exclaimed.  
  
"We thought it was just us!" Ginny and Ron said together.  
  
"So was your's more of a slow, mournful song or a--" Harry began to ask Hermione, but he was cut off by her.  
  
"It was Shakira!"  
  
"Oh..." the other three said.  
  
Just then, there was a knock at the door. Before anyone could open it, the person did. It was Draco Malfoy with his goons, Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
"Just came to see if you all were singing." he stated.  
  
Everyone glared.  
  
"Well what sort of song did you sing, Malfoy?" Ginny asked.  
  
"None of your business!" he said as he turned and walked down the hall.  
  
"That was very weird." Ron said.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Meanwhile, Draco and his cronies returned to their compartment. And then broke into song as that same green smoke that was in Hermione's room seeped beneath the door.  
  
Draco: Hey guys, have you see that disco hippie?   
  
Crabbe: Ohh, he's so cute!   
  
Goyle: He's the man   
  
Some person who opened the compartment and stuck their head in: Oh my God!   
  
Goyle...again: He's the man   
  
Draco: Let's dance! Common guys ...  
  
A disco ball began to lower out of the ceiling and the walls between a couple of compartments fell, smashing people. Lights were flashing everywhere and there was a crowd gathering around Draco and his back-up singers.  
  
Back-Up Singers(girls): Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Draco grabbed a microphone that appeared out of nowhere and began to sing.   
  
Draco: Break out, 2000 zero zero purple pokemon   
  
Knockin on my door!!  
  
So free now, I'm flipin' trippin' cartwheels in the breeze now,  
  
Like never before.  
  
Draco, with Crabbe and Goyle in the background: My life is so wild like a child in a candy store   
  
It's the same, so strange like a game or a toy   
  
You really got me goin'   
  
You got me so I don't know what I'm doin'!!   
  
Draco: Disco hippie got his head in the sand   
  
Disco hippie got a world in his hand   
  
Supersonic technotronic machine   
  
Disco hippie, you're the man!   
  
Back-up singers: Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Draco, who is now in pink pants: Tick-tock! Where we all go crazy   
  
when the clock locks, when plays our show!   
  
Hip-hop! Glow sticks, and sour apple blow pops   
  
Make me outta control!   
  
Draco, with Crabbe and Goyle in the background: My life is so wild like a child in a candy store   
  
It's a scene so strange like a game or a toy   
  
You really got me goin'   
  
You got me so I don't know what I'm doin'!   
  
Draco: Disco hippie got his head in the sand   
  
Disco hippie got a world in his hand   
  
Supersonic technotronic machine   
  
Disco hippie, you're the man   
  
Back-Up Singers: Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Back-up singers and Crabbe and Goyle: Discoooo   
  
(talking) Draco: You're a real disco hippie huh?   
  
Back-up singers and Crabbe and Goyle: Discoooo   
  
(talking) Draco: Can I dance with you?   
  
Back-up singers and Crabbe and Goyle: Discoooo   
  
(talking) Draco: Please?   
  
Back-up singers and Crabbe and Goyle: Discoooo   
  
(talking) Draco: Thank You!   
  
Back-up singers and Crabbe and Goyle: Discoooo   
  
(talking) Draco: Man, this is cool!   
  
Back-up singers and Crabbe and Goyle: Discoooo (ooh sha lala ooh ooh shalalala)   
  
Discoooo (ooh sha lala ooh ooh shalalala)   
  
Discoooo (ooh sha lala ooh ooh shalalala)   
  
Discoooo (ooh sha lala ooh ooh shalalala)   
  
Back-up singers: Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la   
  
Draco: Disco hippie got his head in the sand   
  
Disco hippie got a world in his hand   
  
Supersonic technotronic machine   
  
Disco hippie, you're the man   
  
Crabbe and Goyle: Disco hippie got his head in the sand (Draco: Head in the sand)   
  
Disco hippie got a world in his hand (Draco: World in his hand)   
  
Supersonic technotronic machine (Draco: Machine)   
  
Draco: Disco hippie, you're the man!!!  
  
Once again, fire-works go off and everyone strikes a silly and pointless pose. Then everything disappears and the compartment goes back to normal.  
  
"That was very disturbing." Draco said. "We must never speak of it again."  
  
Then that same kid poked his head in again, "Who was that guy you were dancing with?"  
  
"Weren't you listening to the song you git?! He was a disco hippie!!" Draco snapped and then turned the kid into a toad and threw him out the window.  
  
*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Oh my God. That song was by Play, a girl group, and if you heard the song you'd be laughing so hard right now. lol. And try running that chapter through spell checker! 


	3. Hermione G

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah  
  
Author's Note: I got bored.  
  
Chapter Three: Hermione G.  
  
When the train stopped, the students got off and made their way up into the castle in carriages that were pulled by Thestrals.   
  
The sorting ceremony went by fast and Dumbledore made his little speech. Everyone went to their common room.  
  
"So Harry, you never told us what kind of song you sung..." Hermione asked.  
  
"It wasn't anything special. Just some weird song with the lyrics 'It's a hard knock life' in it." he replied.  
  
"Oh..." Hermione, Ron, and Ginny said.  
  
They walked to their common room and entered. When they got in, it was a horrible sight. Parvati and Lavender had broke into their rendition of "Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun" when they haven't even been in the room 2 minutes. Their voices weren't that good and the four had to plug up their ears. Harry and Ron went to their dorm while Hermione and Ginny went to their's.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
In the Girl's Dorm a few minutes later:  
  
Hermione, Ginny, Parvati, Lavender, and some other girl where having a girl's night in. Their hair was in curlers and they were running around in silk pajamas. When Hermione made up some lame excuse to go to the bathroom, Parvati began to sing...  
  
"Look at me, I'm Hermione G.   
  
Lousy with virginity   
  
Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed.  
  
I can't! I'm Hermione G.!!"  
  
Parvati was now bouncing on the bed.  
  
"Watch it! Ya, I'm Doris Day  
  
I was not brought up that way   
  
Won't come across, even Rock Hudson lost  
  
His heart to Doris Day..."  
  
"I don't drink or swear  
  
I won't rat my hair   
  
I get ill from one cigarette.." Parvati continued. The rest of the girls made little coughs.   
  
"Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers.   
  
Would you pull that crap with Annette?   
  
As for you, Troy Donahue  
  
I know what you wanna do   
  
You got your crust, I'm no object of lust,  
  
I'm just plain Hermione G."  
  
Parvati jumped off the bed and pulled out a life size cardboard cut-out of Elvis from the closet.  
  
"Elvis! Elvis, let me be..  
  
Keep that pelvis far from me.  
  
Just keep your cool, now you're starting to drool  
  
Hey, Fungoo, I'm Hermione G.!"  
  
Just then, Hermione walked back in and caught all the girls making fun of her. She expected this from Parvati, Lavender, and that other girl; but not Ginny.  
  
"Are you making fun of me, Par?" she asked.  
  
"No! Of course we weren't." Ginny said as she stood up and hurried to Hermione side.  
  
"Oh!" Hermione said more cheerfully. "Okay then!"  
  
Then they resumed to talking about boy and stuff.  
  
*!*!*!*!*!  
  
A/N: Well this was a short chapter. I was constantly interrupted while I was trying to make it so it's short and sweet. 


	4. Summer Nights

Disclaimer: Blah Blah  
  
Author's Note: Still stuck on Grease.  
  
Chapter Four: Summer Nights  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Meanwhile, in the boy's dorms:  
  
"So Seamus, I heard you met a girl over the summer." Dean said. Harry and Ron couldn't help but over hear.  
  
"Yeah, so what?" he said, blushing.  
  
"Tell us about her!" Neville insisted.  
  
"Yeah, come one!" Ron said.  
  
"Okay fine..." Seamus gave in. That green smoke entered the room...  
  
~*~*~  
  
Meanwhile, back in the girl's dorm:  
  
"So Shelley, I heard you met a boy over the summer." Lavender said. Hermione and Ginny couldn't help but overhear.  
  
"Yea, so what?" Shelley--the 'other' girl--said, blushing.  
  
"Tell us about him!" Parvati insisted.  
  
"Yeah!" Ginny said.  
  
"Well okay..." Shelley gave in.  
  
That green smoke entered the room.  
  
Seamus: Summer loving had me a blast   
  
Shelley: Summer loving happened so fast   
  
Seamus: I met a girl crazy for me   
  
Shelley: Met a boy cute as can be   
  
Both: Summer days drifting away to uh-oh the summer nights.  
  
Everyone: Uh well-a well-a well-a huh  
  
Seamus's dormmates: Tell me more, tell me more   
  
Dean: Did you get very far   
  
Shelley's dorm mates: Tell me more, tell me more   
  
Lavender: Like, does he have a car   
  
Everyone: Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh  
  
Everyone was up dancing around syncronised even though they were in different rooms.  
  
Seamus: She swam by me, she got a cramp   
  
Shelley: He ran by me, got my suit damp   
  
Seamus: I saved her life, she nearly drown   
  
Shelley: He showed off splashing around   
  
Both: Summer sun, something's begun but uh-oh the summer nights   
  
Everyone: Uh well-a well-a well-a huh  
  
The girls: Tell me more, tell me more   
  
Hermione: Was it love at first sight   
  
The guys: Tell me more, tell me more   
  
Ron: Did she put up a fight?  
  
Everyone: Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh  
  
By this time, there was a ridiculous amount of students in each room dancing around stupidly.  
  
Seamus: Took her bowling in the arcade  
  
A couple of pure-bloods stared.   
  
"It's a muggle thing." Seamus said simply.  
  
"Oh.." they all said. The music started up again.  
  
Shelley: We went strolling, drank lemonade  
  
Seamus: We made out under the dock  
  
Shelley:We stayed out 'till ten o'clock  
  
Both: Summer fling, don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights  
  
Everyone: Uh well-a well-a well-a huh  
  
Guys: Tell me more, tell me more  
  
Harry: But you don't gotta brag  
  
Girls: Tell me more, tell me more  
  
Parvati: Cos he sounds like a drag  
  
Everyone: shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEH  
  
Shelley: He got friendly, holding my hand  
  
Seamus: While she got friendly down in the sand  
  
Shelley: He was sweet, just turned eighteen  
  
Seamus: Well she was good you know what I mean  
  
Everyone: Woah!  
  
Both: Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights  
  
Everyone: woo, woo, woo  
  
Girls: Tell me more, tell me more  
  
Ginny: How much dough did he spend?  
  
Guys: Tell me more, tell me more  
  
Neville: Could she get me a friend?  
  
The music got softer and everyone quit dancing.  
  
Shelley: It turned colder - that's where it ends  
  
Seamus: So I told her we'd still be friends  
  
Shelley: Then we made our true love vow  
  
Seamus: Wonder what she's doing now  
  
Both: Summer dreams ripped at the seams,  
  
bu-ut oh, those su-ummer nights....  
  
After they dragged on the last note for twelve minutes, everyone resumed to what they were doing before.  
  
*!*!*!*!*!  
  
A/N: I never knew how long that song was until I had to type it up!! lol. 


	5. No Mountain High Enough You Over Grown B...

Disclaimer: The usual.  
  
Author's Note: This story is like a stress relief story. As you may know, I am currently having writer's block with the other one.  
  
Chapter Four: No Mountain's High Enough You Over Grown Bat!  
  
Potions class was no exception. Of course no one noticed the green smoke when it filled the room because they thought it was just part of the side effects of Neville's concoction.  
  
Before you knew it, Harry and Professor Snape were side by side sharing a microphone.  
  
Harry: Oooo, listen baby   
  
Ain't no mountain high   
  
Ain't no valley low   
  
Ain't no river wide enough baby   
  
Snape: If you need me call me   
  
No matter where you are   
  
No matter how far   
  
Just call out my name   
  
I'll be there in a hurry   
  
You don't have to worry   
  
Everyone in the class: 'Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough   
  
Ain't no valley low enough   
  
Ain't no river wide enough   
  
To keep me from getting to you babe   
  
Neville jumped in front of Snape and Harry with his own microphone.  
  
Neville: Remember the day   
  
I set you free   
  
I told you you could always count on me darlin'   
  
And of course, Hermione jumped in front of Neville, now back in her 'Suerte' outfit.  
  
Hermione: From that day on   
  
I made a vow   
  
I'll be there when you want me   
  
Some way, some how   
  
Everyone: 'Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough (Hermione: oh no mountain high enough)  
  
Ain't no valley low enough (Harry: valley low enough)   
  
Ain't no river wide enough (Snape: no river wide enough)   
  
To keep me from getting to you babe   
  
Neville: Oooh, darlin'   
  
A bunch of unknown Gryffindors: No wind (no wind)   
  
No rain (no rain)   
  
Hermione: Oh winter's cold   
  
Can't stop me baby (The Gryffindors: no, no baby)   
  
'Cause you are my goal   
  
Harry and Snape: If you're ever in trouble   
  
I'll be there on the double   
  
Neville: Just send for me, oh baby   
  
Malfoy jumped on stage wearing his pink pants and just had to join in.  
  
Draco: My love is alive   
  
Way down in my heart   
  
Although we are miles apart   
  
Hermione: If you ever need a helping hand   
  
I'll be there on the double   
  
Seamus and Shelley: Just as fast as I can!!   
  
Everyone: Ain't no mountain high enough   
  
Ain't no valley low enough   
  
Ain't no river wide enough   
  
To keep me from you   
  
Everyone: Ain't no mountain high enough(Hermione: Ain't no mountain-)   
  
Ain't no valley low enough(Hermione: -valley low)  
  
Ain't no river wide enough(Hermione: Ain't no river)   
  
To keep me from you   
  
All: Ain't no mountain high enough   
  
Ain't no valley low enough   
  
Ain't no river wide enough   
  
Harry: To keep me from getting to you   
  
All: 'Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough (Snape: enough)   
  
Ain't no valley low enough (Snape: no valley low enough)   
  
Ain't no river wide enough (Snape: oh no river)   
  
To keep me from getting to you babe (Snape: To keep me from getting to you)   
  
It was a very disturbing sight indeed.  
  
*!*!*!*!*!*  
  
Snape forced the class to forget everything that happened when the 'lesson' was over. But when they all left, he had his own little solo...  
  
The dungeons suddenly lit up and Snape was dancing all around like an idiot. There were mirrors all around him so you could see his reflection for what seemed like miles....  
  
"You can go with this,   
  
Or you can go with that,   
  
You can go with this,   
  
Or you can go with that,   
  
You can go with this,   
  
Or you can go with that,   
  
Or you can throw with (us)  
  
Walk without rythm,   
  
it won't attract the worm   
  
Walk without rythm,   
  
and it won't attract the worm   
  
Walk without rythm,   
  
and it won't attract the worm   
  
If you walk without rythm,   
  
ah, you never learn..."  
  
After a few moments, Snape jumped off his desk and began to fly around the room. Just like an over-grown bat.  
  
*!*!*!*!*!  
  
A/N: I just heard a couple of songs last night on the radio and FatBoy Slim's 'Weapon of Choice' was one of them. I thought it would be funny to picture Snape dancing around in the classroom...And I wasn't quite sure of the lyrics. Some people say it's "You can blow wit' this" or "You can blow this" or "You can go with this" I'm not quite sure, but the first two didn't seem right... 


	6. Ginny's Song

Disclaimer: The usual  
  
Author's Note: I found the song used in this chapter at Muggle Net. I didn't make it up but I thought it was really good so I just had to use it for this musical!  
  
Chapter Five: Ginny's Song-Boy all the Witches Want  
  
Ginny was walking along the corridor when she stopped suddenly. She saw Harry and Ron and Hermione coming out of Potions class...  
  
"After class, in the corridor and I'm waiting   
  
To finally talk to a boy a little braver than me   
  
His name is Harry and he's called the Boy Who Lived   
  
'Cause he survived the curse the Dark Lord tried to put on him   
  
And when he flies   
  
The crowd cheers and applauds for him   
  
He doesn't notice me!   
  
Cause he's playing Quidditch   
  
Trying to catch the Snitch   
  
Escaping the Dark Lord   
  
Getting into mischief   
  
It's like a muggle movie   
  
I just cannot let him be!   
  
He has got to be with me!   
  
I am bent on one knee!   
  
Why can't he see   
  
That he's the boy all the witches want?   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!"  
  
Harry and his friends leave down the corridor and Ginny follows carefully. She continues to sing.  
  
"He likes Cho Chang and I just do not like this   
  
Will it change his mind if I gave him just one little kiss?   
  
He said he'd like to ask her out the Yule Ball   
  
He'll never know that I'm the best that he'll ever have   
  
And when he flies   
  
The crowd cheers and applauds for him   
  
He'll never notice me!   
  
'Cause he's playing Quidditch   
  
Trying to catch the Snitch   
  
Escaping the Dark Lord   
  
Getting into mischief   
  
He likes 'em with a touch   
  
Good-looks don't matter much   
  
Flying on a broomstick   
  
Does a wand make a witch?   
  
It's like a muggle movie   
  
I just cannot let him be!   
  
He has got to be with me!   
  
I am bent on one knee!   
  
Why can't he see   
  
That he's the boy all the witches want?   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!"  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione headed to the Quidditch Pitch. The Gryffindor team had practice and Ginny totally forgot. She rushed to the broom shed for her broom and headed for the pitch too.   
  
"There he goes again   
  
With his glasses on   
  
And his untidy hair   
  
He broke my heart   
  
Just like his aunt inflated   
  
And more than Voldemort ever hated!"  
  
Since Ginny was on the team too, she had to practice. Of course she wasn't the seeker, but that didn't stop her from nicking it for a little while.  
  
"Now I'm playing Quidditch,   
  
Trying to catch the Snitch,   
  
Not escaping the Dark Lord   
  
But Getting into mischief   
  
I don't think I've got that touch   
  
Now, pretty faces matter much   
  
And I don't got no good broomstick...broomstick...broomstick...  
  
It's like a muggle movie   
  
I just cannot let him be!   
  
He has got to be with me!   
  
I am bent on one knee!"  
  
With that line she almost fell of her broom.  
  
  
  
"Why can't he see   
  
That he's the boy all the witches want?   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!   
  
He's the boy all the witches want!!!"  
  
The band quit playing and Ginny resumed to practice. Hermione was up in the stands watching her three favorite people, plus the other members of the team, practice.  
  
*!*!*!*!*  
  
A/N: This was very messed up. lol. 


	7. Hermione's Song sorta

Disclaimer: Same.  
  
Author's Note: I can't think of anything to say.  
  
Chapter Six: Hermione's Song...sorta  
  
Hermione was sitting in the bleachers watching her friends practice Quidditch. That green smoke came from under her and she burst into song. A band appeared behind her and began playing.  
  
"3 o'clock, Monday night and I'm waitin'   
  
To finally talk to a boy a little cooler than me.   
  
His name is Harry, he's a seeker with a toe ring,   
  
He flies a two way, but I'm not quite sure what that means.   
  
And when he walks,   
  
All the wind blows and the angels sing.   
  
He doesn't notice me--"  
  
"Ehem!" Ginny interrupted as she flew over to Hermione.  
  
"What?" Hermione asked, slightly emarrassed.  
  
"I just did that song not even a chapter ago!" she implied.  
  
"Oh..."  
  
Ginny flew away and Hermione climbed over to the band and whispered something in there ears. A few moments later she was back at her microphone.  
  
"...And I don't want the world to see me  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am...."  
  
Some more guys appeared with instraments that were usually only in orchestras.  
  
"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
  
When everything feels like the movies  
  
And you bleed just to know you're alive  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am..."  
  
The people with the 'orchestra' instraments break into a long solo.  
  
"..And I don't want the world to see me  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am..."  
  
Hermione continued to sing until the song ended. Then she sat back down and watched her friends practice.  
  
*!*!*!  
  
A/N: I don't know what I was thinking. 


	8. Guess Who's Back?

*Skips all the nonsense*  
  
Chapter Eight: Guess Who's Back?  
  
After Hermione sang her 'song,' and after Quidditch practice they returned to the dorm for a long nights rest....  
  
The next day during breakfast, someone burst through the doors holding a microphone and wearing baggy pants...Lupin?  
  
"Two trailer park girls go round the outside;   
  
round the outside,   
  
round the outside   
  
*scratches*   
  
Two trailer park girls go round the outside;   
  
round the outside,   
  
round the outside   
  
*scratches*" Lupin began to rap. The scratches were coming from Dumbledore who was now wearing sunglasses and a backwards cap.  
  
"Guess who's back   
  
Back again   
  
Lupin's back   
  
Tell a friend   
  
Guess who's back,   
  
guess who's back,   
  
guess who's back,   
  
guess who's back   
  
guess who's back,   
  
guess who's back,   
  
guess who's back.." {*Lupin hums*}  
  
"I may be a monster, but nobody wants to see Lupin no more  
  
They want Mooney, I'm chopped liver   
  
Well if you want Mooney, this is what I'll give ya   
  
A little bit of me mixed with some hard liquor..."  
  
Lupin continued to rap with Dumbledore the DJ and McGonnagal and Trelawny as the 'trailor park girls'. It was very disturbing.  
  
"...I just settled all my lawsuits and screw you Debbie!  
  
Now this looks like a job for me   
  
So everybody, just follow me   
  
Cause we need a little, controversy  
  
Cause it feels so empty, without me   
  
I said-this looks like a job for me   
  
So everybody, just follow me   
  
Cause we need a little, controversy   
  
Cause it feels so empty, without me...."  
  
Very disturbing indeed.   
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
"What in the world is Lupin doing here?" Ron asked as him, Hermione, and Harry made their way to their next class, Defense Against the Dark Arts.  
  
"I think he's going to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." Hermione said.  
  
"Nah, he just wanted the attention. We already have a new Defense teacher." Harry said.  
  
As they walked into the door, what they saw shocked them. The room was covered in red thick curtains and all the students desks were moved to the front to make a stage of some sort. The trio made their way to the middle of the room and stood next to the rest of the kids. They heard a microphone turn on and someone stepped out from behind the curtains. It was Dumbledore in pimp clothes!  
  
He was wearing a completely violent purple suit with a top hat with a cain. Not to mention some mighty fine shoes and sunglasses. He made his way to the front of the desk-er...*stage* and tapped his microphone.  
  
"May I have your attention please? May I have you're attention please? We're gonna have a problem here.." he said.  
  
"PSSST." came a hiss from behind the curtain. Dumbledore walked over to it and stuck his head in.  
  
"Wrong song you git!" the students heard someone say.  
  
"Oh...right..." Dumbledore pulled his head back and returned to the front of the stage.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Moulin Rouge!"  
  
The curtains pulled back and Dumbledore hurried off stage. There were a couple of gasps.  
  
"Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister  
  
Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister..." they heard women chanting. The one of them stepped foward. It was Trelawny dressed like a hooker!  
  
"He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge  
  
Strutting her stuff on the street  
  
She said, "Hello, hey Joe  
  
You wanna give it a go?" oh" she sang.  
  
  
  
Even though the other three weren't seen, they were heard...  
  
"Gitchy gitchi yaya dada (Trelawney: hey hey hey)  
  
Gitchy gitchi yaya hee (T: hee oh)  
  
Mocha chocolata yaya (T: ooh yeah)  
  
Creole Lady Marmalade (T:ohh)  
  
Voulez - vous coucher avec moi, ce soir (Some other voice: oh oh)  
  
Voulez - vous coucher avec moi (Some other voice: yeah yeah yeah yeah)"  
  
Then Trelawny stepped back and a pink haired hooker stepped up. It was Tonks!  
  
"He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up  
  
Boy drank all that magnolia wine  
  
On her black satin sheets  
  
Is where he started to freak, yeah  
  
Gitchi gitchi yaya dada (Tonks: da da yeah)  
  
Gitchi gitchi yaya hee (Tonks: ooh yeah yeah)  
  
Mocha chocolata ya ya  
  
Creole Lady Marmalade, uh  
  
Voulez - vous coucher avec moi, ce soir (ce soir)  
  
Voulez - vous coucher avec moi (ooh)."  
  
Tonks stepped back and something horrible stepped foward. It was Snape in a hooker outfit! And a corset!  
  
"Yeah, yeah, aw  
  
We come through with the money and the garter belts  
  
Let 'em know we 'bout that cake, straight out the gate  
  
We independent women, some mistake us for whores  
  
I'm saying, why spend mine when I can spend yours  
  
Disagree, well that's you and I'm sorry  
  
I'mma keep playing these cats out like Atari  
  
Wear high heeled shoes, get love from the dudes  
  
Four badass chicks from the Moulin Rouge  
  
Hey sisters, soul sisters  
  
Betta get that dough sisters  
  
We drink wine with diamonds in the glass by the case  
  
The meaning of expensive taste  
  
We wanna itchi gitchi yaya (come on)  
  
Mocha chocolata (what)  
  
Creole Lady Marmalade  
  
(One more time, come on)" he sang/rapped.  
  
"Marmalade (ooh)  
  
Lady Marmalade (ooh yeah)  
  
Marmalade (ohh)" the two girls and Snape were singing as someone sang the 'oohs'.   
  
The someone stepped from behind the curtain. It was McGonnagal with an afro! A blonde afro at that!  
  
"Hey, hey, hey!!!!  
  
Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth, hey!  
  
Color of cafe au lait, alright  
  
Made the savage beast inside  
  
Roar until he cried  
  
More, more, more!!!" she belted.  
  
"Now he's back home doing nine to five." Tonks sang.  
  
"Nine to five." Minerva harmonized.  
  
"Living a gray flannel life!" Trelawny belted...sorta.  
  
Minerva stepped back to the front.  
  
"But when he turns off to sleep, memories keep  
  
More, more, more!!!"  
  
The four broke out into a dance.  
  
"Gitchi gitchi yaya dada(dadaaaa)  
  
Gitchi gitchi yaya hee (ohh)  
  
Mocha chocolata ya ya (ooh)" they sang. Then Minerva sang her solo...  
  
"Creole Lady Marmaaaaalade!!!!"  
  
"Voulez - vous coucher avec moi, ce soir (Tonk: ce soir)  
  
Voulez - vous coucher avec moi(Trelawny: All my sista..yeah)  
  
Voulez - vous coucher avec moi, ce soir (ce soir)  
  
Voulez - vous coucher avec moi (ohh)"  
  
"Come on, uh." Snape rapped. The Dumbledore returned.  
  
"Minerva." he said.  
  
"Moulaaaaaay oh..." she sang.  
  
"Tonks." Dumbldore sang.  
  
"Lady Marmalade..."  
  
"Lil' Sev."  
  
"Hey, hey, uh uh uh uh uh uh uh." Severus rapped.  
  
"Syb."  
  
"Ohhh." Trelawny harmonized.  
  
"Rockwilder baby......Moulin Rouge." Dumbledore announced over there harmonizing. "Dumbledore here."  
  
"Creole Lady Marmalaaaade!!! ooh yeah...." The four hokkers finished as they struck sexy poses.  
  
The students stared.  
  
"Holy--"   
  
"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed.  
  
"That must have been the most disturbing sight I've ever seen, "Harry stated. "Did you see the cellulite hanging out of the bottoms?"   
  
"Did you see Snape in a corset!?" Ron asked.  
  
"Did you see Tonks with Pink hair?!" Hermione added.  
  
Harry and Ron looked at her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: I just HAD to do that song. I'm sure you all have seen the video and can picture what everyone was wearing...lol. 


	9. Love is Like Wo

Disclaimer: I hope you all know these aren't my songs and if you want the artist who sings them, just tell me in your review.  
  
Author's Note: I just HAD to do this song! Just for the dance sequence in the middle!  
  
Chapter Nine: Love is Like...Wo  
  
After a day filled with singing and dancing teachers, the three returned to the Common Room. When they got through the entrance, they saw the room had been redecorated. There were black and white walls, triangularshaped, and the lights were dim. They saw a girl sitting in a chair smoking a cigar. She was wearing a white suit with a top hat. What was it with white suits? She began to speak.  
  
"See, baby...  
  
I know you done had your share of girls   
  
I am more than confident   
  
You won't ever have to search any streets for affection   
  
I got you..." she spoke. The she got up and began to sing and dance. The lights came on and it was Lavender! She threw the cigar down and began to sing and dance.  
  
"What kind of girl you like   
  
I know my looks can be deceivin'  
  
Tell me am I your type   
  
My main goal is to please you   
  
What's on the schedule tonight   
  
Am I the reason you'll be treatin'   
  
I hope you have an appetite   
  
So tell me will you come and spend the night..."  
  
She began to take off her suit and put on a red blouse instead with a black top hat and black pants. She looked sorta like Michael Jackson. Of course it happened so fast it was like magic...   
  
"My love is like...wo   
  
My kiss is like...wo   
  
My touch is like...wo   
  
My sex is like...wo   
  
My a** is like...wo   
  
My body's like...wo   
  
And you're kissin' it   
  
So what you think of it   
  
My love is like...wo   
  
My kiss is like...wo   
  
My touch is like...wo   
  
My sex is like...wo   
  
My a** is like...wo   
  
My body's like...wo   
  
And you're kissin' it   
  
So what you think of it..." She sang. Through the chorus she changed her clothes periodically, but it was really fast...  
  
Suddenly, the walls turned pink and had disco balls hanging from them. Lavender's hair turned curly and she was dressed in gold capris and a leopard shirt. She was on top of a table dancing.  
  
"When will you come through  
  
'Cause I'll be waitin' up right here   
  
Can you bring some Belvedere   
  
So we can pop the cork and cheer   
  
Please have no fear   
  
I just wanna love you right   
  
I hope you have an appetite   
  
So baby, will you come and spend the night...." she sang.   
  
Then she got off the table and was in an orange dress with the neckline all the way down to her stomach and a blue bra showing.   
  
"My love is like...wo   
  
My kiss is like...wo   
  
My touch is like...wo   
  
My sex is like...wo   
  
My a** is like...wo   
  
My body's like...wo   
  
And you're kissin' it   
  
So what you think of it   
  
My love is like...wo   
  
My kiss is like...wo   
  
My touch is like...wo   
  
My sex is like...wo   
  
My a** is like...wo   
  
My body's like...wo   
  
And you're kissin' it   
  
So what you think of it." she repeated while smashing things.  
  
She quickly changed into a pair of blue sporty shorts and long-sleeved shirt with a white visor and broke into a really cool dance while her back-up singers sang. The color of her clothes switch from blue to red a lot.  
  
"Oh, me   
  
Oh, me, oh, my   
  
(Tasty) My (Tasty) my  
  
(Oh, me, oh, my) Oh, me   
  
(Tasty) Me (Tasty) my I.." they sang.  
  
Lavender continued to sing and dance.  
  
"If you love me like you never wanna let me go  
  
If you're likin' what you're tastin' really let me know   
  
If you're gonna love me better love me strong '  
  
Cause I want this love to love last all night long!"  
  
With the last three word, the lights went out and when they came back on you could hear peoples fingers snapping. There was a figure in the dark swinging around a pole.   
  
When a light shined on her, she was wearing a khaki cut up shirt, tap dancing yellow shoes, and black pants. She began to tap dance, firstly slowly, then fast.   
  
In the middle the ripped off her pants and had on a pair of daisy dukes on! She was then throw a baton and began to dance and twirl with it some more.  
  
Then she quickly changed into a bandit black cowboy outfit and began singing again.  
  
"My love is like...wo   
  
My kiss is like...wo   
  
My touch is like...wo   
  
My sex is like...wo   
  
My a** is like...wo   
  
My body's like...wo   
  
And you're kissin' it   
  
So what you think of it." Now she began to take off the top, which revealed a striped shirt. While she was singing, she began to strip down.  
  
"My love is like   
  
My kiss is like   
  
My touch is like   
  
My sex is like   
  
My a** is like   
  
My body's like   
  
And you're kissin' it   
  
So what you think of it..." Now she was in a bikini type thing and still dancing and singing. Her song faded and she returned back to normal.  
  
"I swear! We can't go anywhere without some person doing a crazy song!" Ron said.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Author's Note: You can see the video at www.launch.com Just picture Mya as Lavender, which isn't that hard, and there you go! 


	10. Gonna Make You Love Me

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Author's Note: I think I've gone crazzzay.  
  
Chapter 10: Gonna Make You Love Me  
  
Hermione and Harry entered the library together the next day. They immediately went to the restricted section to look up some stuff for homework. Not long after they began on their assignment, that same green smoke seeped through the shelves....  
  
They broke into song.  
  
Hermione: I'm gonna do everything for you  
  
To show you that my love is true  
  
Some girls that were sitting on the shelves: Oh, yeah (Hermione: Oh, baby)  
  
Hermione: I'll sacrifice for you  
  
I'll always do what's right for you  
  
Some girls that were on the shelves: Oh, yeah (Hermione: Oh, baby)  
  
Harry: Every minute, every hour  
  
I'm gonna shower you  
  
With love and affection  
  
Look out, it's comin' in your direction  
  
Both of them: I'm gonna make you love me  
  
Oh, yes I will  
  
Yes I will  
  
I'm gonna make you love me  
  
Oh, yes I will  
  
Yes I will  
  
By this time, tables were knocked over and there were back-up dancers dancing behind them.  
  
Harry: Look here...  
  
My love is strong, you see  
  
And I know you'll never get tired of me  
  
Those girls: Oh, baby (Harry: Oh, baby)  
  
Harry: And I'm gonna use every trick in the book  
  
I'll try my best to get you hooked  
  
Those Girls: Hey, baby (Harry: Hey, baby)  
  
Harry: And every night, every day  
  
I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you  
  
Look out girl, 'cause I'm gonna get you  
  
Both: I'm gonna make you love me  
  
Oh, yes I will  
  
Yes I will  
  
I'm gonna make you love me  
  
Oh, yes I will  
  
Yes I will  
  
Harry(speaking): Every breathe I take  
  
And each and every step I make  
  
Brings me closer, baby  
  
Closer to you  
  
Harry walked towards Hermione.  
  
Hermione: And with each beat of my heart  
  
For every day that we're apart  
  
I will always be there for you  
  
She walked over to him, and them pushed him away flirtatiously.  
  
Hermione: And I...  
  
Every night  
  
And every day  
  
I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you  
  
Look out, 'cause I'm gonna get you  
  
Both: I'm gonna make you love me  
  
Oh, yes I will  
  
Yes I will  
  
I'm gonna make you love me  
  
Oh, yes I will  
  
Yes I will  
  
Both: I'm gonna make you love me  
  
Oh, yes I will  
  
Yes I will  
  
I'm gonna make you love me  
  
Oh, yes I will  
  
Yes I will..  
  
The music stopped.  
  
Both: Yes I wiiiiilll.  
  
As usual, everything went back to normal and the freaky girls on top of the shelves disappeared. The librarian was standing over them and giving them a harsh look.  
  
"Sorry," both Harry and Hermione said.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Okay, the reason I'm not going into too much detail is because I want you to imagine what they look like without my help. lol. 


	11. Cry Me a River

Disclaimer: You know the drill.  
  
Author's Note: I just realized I didn't give Ron a song so now I am!  
  
Chapter 11: Cry Me a River  
  
Ron ran down the corridor and through the entrance hall. Harry had just told him what happened in the library. He ran outside in the cold hard rain, unaware that green smoke was following him.  
  
"You were my sun  
  
You were my earth  
  
But you didnt know all the ways I loved you. No.  
  
So you took a chance  
  
Made other plans  
  
But I bet that you didnt think they would come crashing down No..."  
  
"You dont have to say, what you did  
  
I already know, found out from him  
  
Now there's just no chance that you and me  
  
There'll never be  
  
Dont it make you sad about it?  
  
You told me you loved me  
  
Why did you leave me, all alone  
  
Now you tell me you need me  
  
When you call me, on the phone  
  
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused  
  
With some other guy  
  
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn  
  
To cry, cry me a river  
  
Cry me a river-er  
  
Cry me a river  
  
Cry me a river-er, yea yea..."  
  
Ron began to dance around.  
  
"I know that they say  
  
That somethings are better left unsaid  
  
It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it  
  
(Don't act like you don't know it)  
  
All of these things people told me  
  
Keep messing with my head  
  
(Messing with my head)  
  
You should've picked honesty  
  
Then you may not have blown it  
  
(Yea..)"  
  
"You don't have to say, what you did,  
  
(Don't have to say, what you did)  
  
I already know, I found out from him  
  
(I already know, uh)  
  
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be  
  
(No chance, you and me)  
  
And don't it make you sad about it?"  
  
"You told me you loved me  
  
Why did you leave me, all alone  
  
(All alone)  
  
Now you tell me you need me  
  
When you call me, on the phone  
  
(When you call me on the phone)  
  
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused  
  
With some other guy  
  
(I'm not like them baby)."  
  
Ron made his way back into the school and to the common room.  
  
"Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn  
  
(It's your turn)  
  
To cry, cry me a river  
  
(Go on and just)  
  
Cry me a river-er  
  
(Go on and just)  
  
Cry me a river  
  
(Baby go on and just)  
  
Cry me a river-er, yea yea."  
  
He grabbed Lavender by her arm and dragged her to his dorm and proceded to make-out with her, knowing Hermione saw what he did and her curiosity would get the best of her. Sure enough, she opened the door and saw them. Lavender jumped up and Ron grinned.   
  
The Whomping Willow Tree began to sing.  
  
Whomping Willow:  
  
Oh  
  
(Ron: Oh)  
  
The damage is done  
  
So I guess I be leaving  
  
Oh  
  
(Oh)  
  
The damage is done  
  
So I guess I be leaving  
  
Oh  
  
(Oh)  
  
The damage is done  
  
So I guess I be leaving  
  
Oh  
  
(Oh)  
  
The damage is done  
  
So I guess I be... leaving  
  
Hermione ran into *her* dorm, not knowing Ron was following her.  
  
"You don't have to say, what you did,  
  
(Don't have to say, what you did)  
  
I already know, I found out from him  
  
(I already know, uh)  
  
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be  
  
(No chance, you and me)  
  
And don't it make you sad about it  
  
Cry me a river  
  
(Go on and just)  
  
Cry me a river-er  
  
(Baby go on and just)  
  
Cry me a river  
  
(You can go on and just)  
  
Cry me a river-er, yea yea.."  
  
Ron made his way to the bathroom as Hermione went to the other side of the room. He had just hidden when she walked in wearing only a towel.  
  
"Cry me a river  
  
(Baby go on and just)  
  
Cry me a river-er  
  
(Go on and just)  
  
Cry me a river  
  
(Cause I've already cried)  
  
Cry me a river-er, yea yea  
  
(Ain't gonna cry no more, yea-yea."  
  
Hermione stepped in the shower and Ron watched secretly.  
  
"Cry me a river  
  
Cry me a river, oh  
  
Cry me a river, oh  
  
Cry me a river, oh  
  
Cry me a river, oh  
  
(Cry me, cry me)  
  
Cry me a river, oh  
  
(Cry me, cry me)  
  
Cry me a river, oh  
  
(Cry me, cry me)  
  
Cry me a river, oh  
  
(Cry me, cry me)  
  
Cry me a river, oh  
  
(Cry me, cry me)  
  
Cry me a river, oh  
  
(Cry me, cry me)  
  
Cry me a river  
  
(Cry me, cry me)..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: That was very weird to write. 


	12. I've Got A Theory

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is just pure fun.  
  
Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated either of my stories in a while. I've been really busy...  
  
Chapter 12: I've Got a Theory!  
  
After a few weeks of this nonsense, it was getting ridiculous. When Harry, Ron, and Hermione--who made up and promised to just be friends forever--passed the kitchens, they heard the house elves dancing to 'Give Me a Break.' Not the old version, the new one.  
  
"Give me a break."  
  
"Give me a break."  
  
"Give me a break. Give. Me. A. Break!"  
  
Students and teachers everywhere were singing and dancing so much that it was getting just plain stupid. The gang decided it was time to find out what was happening so they headed to the library.  
  
Hermione:  
  
I've got a theory  
  
That it's a demon  
  
A dancing demon --  
  
No, something isn't right there  
  
Harry:  
  
I've got a theory  
  
Some kid is dreamin'  
  
And we're all stuck inside  
  
His wacky Broadway nightmare  
  
Ron:  
  
I've got a theory  
  
We should work this out  
  
All:  
  
It's getting eerie  
  
What's this cheery   
  
Singing all about?  
  
Ron:  
  
I've got a theory  
  
It could be spiders!  
  
*long pause*crickets chirping*  
  
Hermione:  
  
I've got a theor --  
  
Ron(belting):   
  
Spiders aren't just tiny  
  
Like everybody supposes!  
  
They've got them hairy legs  
  
And don't even have noses!  
  
And what's with all the eyes?  
  
What do they need such  
  
Good eyesight for anyway?  
  
Spiders!  
  
Spiders!  
  
It must be Spiders!  
  
*Harry and Hermione look at him*  
  
...Or maybe midgets  
  
Hermione:  
  
I've got a theory   
  
We should work this fast  
  
Ron and Harry:  
  
Because it clearly   
  
Could get serious before it's passed  
  
Harry:  
  
I've got a theory  
  
It doesn't matter--  
  
*Song gets slower*  
  
What can't we face   
  
If we're together?  
  
What's in this place  
  
That we can't weather?  
  
Voldemort?  
  
We've all been there  
  
The same old trips  
  
Why should we care?  
  
All:  
  
What can't we do   
  
If we get in it?  
  
We'll work it through  
  
Within a minute  
  
We have to try   
  
We'll pay the price  
  
It's do or die   
  
Harry:  
  
Hey, I've almost died twice  
  
Hermione and Ron: (Harry)  
  
What can't we face   
  
If we're together?   
  
(What can't we face?)  
  
What's in this place  
  
That we can't weather?  
  
(If we're together)  
  
There's nothing we can't face  
  
Ron:  
  
...Except for spiders...  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Short and sweet. I'm working on the story I promise! I already have like...4 chapters written, they're just further down in the story and I have to write more chapters to get to them, ya know??  
  
And for you people(who shall remain nameless) who are Ron and Hermione shippers, that's *you're* viewpoint. I happen to believe that Harry and Hermione might/will like each other in furture books and that Ron and Hermione's relationship would be abusive! lol. j/k about the last part. But I have read scarey fanfiction where Ron does hurt Hermione and I don't think that Harry would EVER do that soo...  
  
Oh! And if you haven't guessed, most of these songs are coming from the Buffy musical. lol. 


End file.
